The magic spell that will save your marriage

I adore The Bloggess and she has been the subject of laudatory posts I’ve written here and here. Yesterday she wrote about a fight she had with her husband, who sounds like a wonderful man if you follow her blog, and I could not resist giving her the following advice in the comments:

OK, here is the magic spell to say that will save your marriage, except that you may have a big fight about who has to say it:

I’m sorry. You were right, dear, AND, I was wrong.

The first two phrases are healing, but what really pulls the poison out is the last one.

Bonus:

Right: “I’m sorry I hurt you.”

Wrong: “I’m sorry IF I hurt you.”

Why is the “IF” wrong?: The “IF” is a weasel word. When you’ve hurt someone and they are acting hurt and angry, you should be pretty clear about the connection between what you did/said and the fact that it resulted in hurt/anger. The fact that you may think it should NOT have resulted in hurt/anger counts zero against the fact that it DID.

Also, for the men:

Question: If a man is alone in a forest and no woman can hear him, is he still wrong?

Answer: Yes.

So that should settle it once and for all.

Then I thought for a few minutes about photos The Bloggess has posted of herself — she is partial to cleavage-revealing, V-neck tops, is where I’m going with this — and my heart melted with sympathy for Victor, so I added this comment:

Regarding Victor being captured by the sight of your breasts and rendered unable to focus his attention where you thought it ought to be, I believe the poet William Butler Yeats speaks for nearly all straight men, and frankly, a LOT of us lesbians, and explains why with this poem — although he is writing about hair, and it sounds like Ms. Gregory had a precursor of the Princess Leia coif:

For Anne Gregory

‘Never shall a young man,

Thrown into despair

By those great honey-coloured

Ramparts at your ear,

Love you for yourself alone

And not your yellow hair.’

‘But I can get a hair-dye

And set such colour there,

Brown, or black, or carrot,

That young men in despair

May love me for myself alone

And not my yellow hair.’

‘I heard an old religious man

But yesternight declare

That he had found a text to prove

That only God, my dear,

Could love you for yourself alone

And not your yellow hair.’

I hope this helps you to forgive him.

Margaret’s partner before me had quite the problem with narcissism, a trait distinguished by non-stop blaming, shaming and derogatory remarks directed at everyone else in the world. I didn’t have many encounters with “Rhino,” but I knew how ceaselessly she had blamed and shamed Margaret in their four years together, just before and after Margaret was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. So I told Margaret at the very beginning of our relationship that, no matter what, she was never going to be wrong, or blamed, or shamed, or put-down again. I just felt the universe owed her a guaranteed time of freedom from all that and I wanted to make sure she got it. This turned out to be one of the easiest promises to keep of my life, for all 20-plus years we had until Margaret’s death on Dec. 7, 2004. This is partly because I just am not much into blaming/shaming/put-downs, but really mostly due to the fact that I can’t remember a time Margaret ever was wrong. And she had absolutely lovely breasts.

Update, 7/15/09: Dear Moe Lane weighs the virtues of the magic spell against having teeth pulled without an anesthetic. Yes, it’s that powerful!

Yo! Krauthammer! Jonah Goldberg! Palin would be a better president RIGHT NOW than Obama ever will be

I posted my most recent “Fire David Letterman” kit on Friday, July 3, around 3 pm, and then saw something in my newsfeed (look to your right on this page) at Michelle Malkin’s site about Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin having a news conference at that moment, possibly to announce her resignation. Gah!

I immediately wrote a post, “Palin for President in 2012,” which I believe was the first on the Web taking that position. Then I took Charles Krauthammer* and Jonah Goldberg to task for their statements that week — Krauthammer on TV and Goldberg at National Review Online — saying that Gov. Palin needed to study up to be considered presidential material. Given what an ignoramus Obama was and is and the fact that he is totally an affirmative action president while Gov. Palin has a long career of astounding achievements, these statements ignored so many facts that they were manifest examples of the delusional stage of Palin Derangement Syndrome. So, I think I also was the first to point out that Gov. Palin would be a better president RIGHT NOW than Obama will ever be.

However, Prof. William Jacbson has applied his considerable powers of analysis to the thesis that Gov. Palin would be a better president RIGHT NOW than Obama will ever be, and taken it much farther than I did. He writes:

If Palin were President, we would not have:

  • A debt and deficit rising so far out of proportion to historical norms as to threaten the near-and-long term viability of the country’s ability to service the debt without destroying the value of the dollar, and passing on to our children and grandchildren unsustainable burdens.
  • A stimulus package filled with pork and giveaways to political constituencies, pushed through under false and fraudulent claims of job creation, and exaggerated claims of immediate economic disaster which themselves hurt the markets, in a process so disgusting that not a single Representative or Senator read the bill before voting.
  • Health care proposals which are wolves in sheep’s clothing, using a seemingly benign “public option” to drive out private insurers, to increase the percentage of people dependent on the government, and eventually to obtain the “one nation, one plan” nationalization of health care which is the holy grail of Obama and his left-wing supporters.
  • A “cap-and-trade” proposal which seeks to regulate and tax the most fundamental aspects of the economy based upon the pure hubris that bureaucrats in Washington are capable of knowing what is best for individual businesses, and arising from disputed science as to the existence and causes of global warming, while proponents like Al Gore stand ready to make fortunes from “trading” carbon credits.
  • A foreign policy which strong-arms allies such as Israel and Honduras, while paying deference to enemies such as Hugo Chavez and Mahmood Ahmadinejad, and which denigrates the U.S. by showing subservience to foreign rulers and by distorting the historical role of the U.S.
  • An energy policy which increases our current dependence of foreign oil by locking up domestic resources, in the speculative hope that someday, somehow, alternative energy sources will make up the difference.
  • The use of federal government power to bully the private sector into giving up property rights in favor of unions and other political supporters of the administration, rather than letting the rule of law work in the normal fashion in auto industry bankruptcy proceedings, as happened with other industries that restructured.

An administration spinning out of control because of the same disease which characterizes all central planners; the false sense that central government is best suited to make decisions for individuals. And add to it the hubris of the political classes, the people who cannot fathom that anyone without the proper degrees or who isn’t articulate lacks intelligence or common sense. By the time Obama figures out how to use the brakes, it will not matter.

Please go on over to Prof. Jacobson’s site and read the whole thing, because, while I am quoting most of the post, I did not copy all 31 links to sources in the material above, which support his assertions. Also, there is always treasure over there — your time will be well-invested (first I wrote “well-spent,” but really, you reap a handsome return, so “well-invested” is more accurate).

By the way, I happen to agree with Prof. Jacobson’s commenters who say that Obama is destroying the U.S. economy on purpose, not out of ignorance. I believe he is setting the stage for his own Enabling Act and setting his fires in the Reichstag in our economy. Because Obama and the Democratic-majority Congress want to lift all those terrible burdens of liberty from your back. They say it isn’t liberty that makes you free — arbeit macht frei!

*I checked the post I’m referring to and I was too tired to link Krauthammer that day because I’d just finished working several hours on the “Fire David Letterman” kit post, plus I had to move on to other chores. I’ve gone back today and added the link to Krauthammer’s July 1 statement on Fox News to that post.

Stop the lies about Sarah Palin

Einstein proves Sarah Palin is smarter than Barack Obama.
Einstein proves Sarah Palin is smarter than Barack Obama.

My posts about Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin are attracting enough attention from people who don’t like her based on Palin Derangement Syndrome and lies, lies, lies that I realized I was going to have to do a ton of work to de-bunk the lies and provide the truth. Then I spotted someone visiting from a group of links this blog was in on June 15 at Instapundit regarding Gov. Palin and David Letterman’s second sham apology that day. Come to find Dr. Socks already has done it.

So, please visit Dr. Socks at Reclusive Leftist for a de-bunking of most of the current lies about Gov. Palin. Read her full post here. The following is her introduction:

Here’s Sarah Palin on contraception and sex ed:

“I’m pro-contraception, and I think kids who may not hear about it at home should hear about it in other avenues. So I am not anti-contraception. But, yeah, abstinence is another alternative that should be discussed with kids. I don’t have a problem with that. That doesn’t scare me, so it’s something I would support also.”

I put that right at the top of the post so you wouldn’t miss it.

This is worth repeating: Gov. Palin supports contraception and sex education.

Oh, and here’s another bit of truth worth remembering for anyone who slams Bristol Palin for getting pregnant out-of-wedlock in 2008 at the age of 17. Obama’s mother, Stanley Ann Dunham, became pregnant with Obama out-of-wedlock when she was 17. She married the baby’s father about five months after becoming pregnant (I’m too tired right now to look up the exact timeline) but the marriage should not be considered legal because Obama, Sr., was already married to a wife who was living in his native country of Kenya.

Update, via Moe Lane, 7/15/09: “POLITICS: Sarah Palin and the Scum of the Earth,” Baseball Crank does a thorough examination of the attacks on Gov. Palin and her children by Left-wing media and bloggers.

Obama, the economy and that creek he's led us up

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H/T to Instapundit for these helpful insights at MorganStanley.com from Richard Berner on “America’s Fiscal Train Wreck.”

Update, 7/07/09: My thanks to The Other McCain for the headline link to this post. If you thought it was funny, click “Home” at the top of the page for the one posted after it. Over at his place, I enjoyed Stacy’s telling of “The Parable of the Doubting Ace.”

God bless Molly Sugden! And I am unanimous in that!

I just read the news at Instapundit that Molly Sugden died on Wednesday at the age of 86. She played the indomitable Mrs. Slocombe on the British comedy, Are You Being Served? and one of her signature phrases was, “And I am unanimous in that!”

My late life partner, Margaret Ardussi, was quadriplegic due to multiple sclerosis the last 10 years of her life. She spent most of her time in her hospital bed watching television and loved PBS, especially the British dramas like Upstairs, Downstairs, All Creatures Great and Small and the British comedies. Our favorite was Are You Being Served? with Molly Sugden, John Inman, Frank Thornton and Wendy Richard. Wendy Richard died earlier this year of cancer. She played Miss Brahms, Mrs. Slocombe’s Cockney young assistant.

I do find it hard now to watch any of the British shows I loved to watch with Margaret because I feel her presence so much when I do and miss her terribly. But, when we watched them together every Saturday night, I noticed something wonderful about the writing of the Britcoms, as PBS called them, which was that we could watch them over and over and over and delight in them every time. It’s now one of my criteria for successful writing, “How much can I stand to see or read this again and again?”

(I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read the Horatio Hornblower series, Kim by Rudyard Kipling, Middlemarch by George Elliot, or Sense and Sensibility and Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.)

H/T: Instapundit and Armchair Commentary. The Telegraph has an obituary detailing the life of Mrs. Sugden.

Pondering Palin Derangement Syndrome

The first thing that Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin did to earn my love and respect was to thank Geraldine Ferraro and honor Hillary Clinton in her speech when Arizona Sen. John McCain announced in Dayton, Ohio, that she would be his running mate — it’s at about 3:30 into the video. There she was, a Republican and the first words out of her mouth after praising Sen. McCain were to thank women in the opposition party. The ability to do this takes a quality I call majesty of soul. It also requires unbounded generosity of spirit. She won my heart and my respect at that moment.

Later, a cable news anchor asked Geraldine Ferraro her reaction to Gov. Palin’s selection and her speech thanking Rep. Ferraro. I’ll never forget seeing the play of emotions in Geraldine Ferraro’s face when she said from 1984 when she ran as the VP candidate with Walter Mondale until Gov. Palin spoke in 2008 that NEVER before had ANYONE ever thanked her for her contribution. Gratitude and wonder and relief vied with hurt and anger in Rep. Ferraro’s face.

As a lesbian and liberal Democrat during the fall campaign, I got a steady stream of anti-Palin poison e-mails from feminists filled with lies that generally had a two-week time from their widely trumpeted promulgation to their barely-noticed debunkings. I could not figure out why my friends were so consumed with hatred and were lying their asses off to destroy such an accomplished woman.

I’ve shared my theory in another post, but I’m writing today because I want to quote a left-wing feminist blogger at Reclusive Leftists who can’t figure out the why of Palin Derangement Syndrome but has some perceptive observations about its causes and symptoms. The full post is here and the following paragraphs are excerpts:

Sarah Palin’s surprise resignation has brought out the crazy again, and reading through the blogs I’m reminded of how much pure bullshit has been said and believed about her and continues to be said and believed. I’m reminded of how so many feminists seem possessed of a wholly irrational hatred for this woman.

Why?

But even weirder is what happens when you try to replace the myths with the truth. If you explain, “no, she didn’t charge rape victims,” your feminist interlocutor will come back with something else: “she’s abstinence-only!” No, you say, she’s not; and then the person comes back with, “she’s a creationist!” and so on. “She’s an uneducated moron!” Actually, Sarah Palin is not dumb at all, and based on her interviews and comments, I’d say she has a greater knowledge of evolution, global warming, and the Wisconsin glaciation in Alaska than the average citizen.

But after you’ve had a few of these myth-dispelling conversations, you start to realize that it doesn’t matter. These people don’t hate Palin because of the lies; the lies exist to justify the hate. That’s why they keep reaching and reaching for something else, until they finally get to “she winked on TV!” (And by the way: I’ve been winked at my whole life by my grandmother, aunts, and great-aunts. Who knew it was such a despicable act?

…Speaking of slander, that brings me to my next big puzzlement: what is it with the feminists who just freely make shit up about Palin? The lies had to start somewhere, and they didn’t all hatch in the bowels of the Obama campaign (though a bunch of them did). Some of them were incubated by feminists, particularly the ones about Palin being an anti-sex “purity queen,” the kind of batshit Christian who believes in Purity Balls and abstinence pledges and is opposed to sex ed. None of that is true.

…Besides, I know for a fact that the feminists spreading the lies about Palin knew they were spreading lies. Not to tell tales out of school, but: they knew. They were supplied with the correct information, and they chose to lie anyway. Why?

Her speech [at the Republican National Convention accepting her nomination as the candidate for vice president] also delivered some welcome punctures to the national gasbag known as Obama. And that’s another thing: it has not escaped my attention that many of the things Palin is accused of, falsely, are actually true of Obama. This is a guy who, as a U.S. senator from Illinois, didn’t even know which Senate committees he was on or which states bordered his own. (And don’t even get me started on Joe “The Talking Donkey” Biden, who thinks FDR was president during the stock market crash and that people watched TV in those days.) I’m not saying Obama’s a moron, but he’s sure as hell no genius. People say Sarah Palin rambles; excuse me, but have you actually heard Obama speak extemporaneously? As for being a diva, surely we all remember the Possomus sign and the special embroidered pillow on the Obama campaign plane. The fact is, Obama is an intellectually mediocre narcissist with a thin resume who’s lost without a teleprompter and whose entire campaign had all the substance and gravity of a Pepsi commercial. Yet people say Sarah Palin is a fluffy bunny diva.

If you have been pondering Palin Derangement Syndrome, I highly recommend reading the entire post along with the intelligent comments that follow.

Meanwhile, I’m going to keep hammering on the obvious point that Gov. Palin is FAR more qualified to be president right now than Obama ever will be. Our country and our economy would be in MUCH better shape if she were president RIGHT NOW.

Update, 7/7/09:

Einstein proves that Sarah Palin is smarter than Barack Obama.
Einstein proves that Sarah Palin is smarter than Barack Obama.

Jackson family announces that the July 7 event featuring Michael Jackson's corpse will kick off his worldwide funeral concert tour

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Los Angeles, CA, July 5 — Speaking on behalf of the Jackson family, patriarch Joseph Jackson told reporters today that since over a million fans unsuccessfully sought tickets for the funeral for his son, Michael Jackson, slated for July 7 at the Staples Center in Los Angeles, the family has decided to postpone the funeral. Instead, the event on July 7 will kick off the worldwide Michael Jackson funeral concert tour.

During each concert, Michael Jackson’s corpse will be on display in a gold coffin with a Plexiglass lid and will be illuminated in coordination with the concert’s light show. Jackson’s place in the dance routines that were choreographed for the concert tour he was rehearsing for when he died will be shown by a follow spot, which will pick up holographic images of the late singer at strategic points in the routines performed to recordings of Jackson singing.

Joseph Jackson, who originated the idea for the tour and will receive the majority of its profits, gloated to members of the press, “This is what my son gets for leaving me out of his will, just because I slapped him around and belittled him all his life. Just because he was the reason people bought Jackson Five records and came to concerts was no reason for him to think he was better than me. I always told him he’d never win a fight with me. He thought he had the last laugh. Well, the fight’s over and I won and I’m laughing all the way to the bank.”

Stevie Wonder, who is blind, has signed on to be the tour’s opening act. “I never saw Michael, anyway,” said Wonder, “so for me, it will still be like he’s really there.”