Obama administration strangles new Calvert Cliffs nuclear reactor with red tape, blames victim
From Memeorandum I see that the Washington Post reports that the Obama administration has killed a new nuclear reactor at Calvert Cliffs in Maryland by setting terms for approving it that made it economically unfeasible in order to force Constellation Energy to cancel the project. Or, that’s what actually happened if you know how to read the letter below from Constellation Energy, and what WaPo reported instead was that Constellation Energy dropped its plans because nuclear reactors are just too expensive to build, even though the Obama administration was giving the company a $7.5 billion loan guarantee (never mind the small print), those ungrateful, greedy bastards:
Constellation Energy Reactor 10-8-10
I live in Maryland and energy prices already have skyrocketed here. Another nuclear reactor in Maryland would lower energy prices and bolster our nation’s energy independence. WaPo’s story adds insult to injury by noting that the Obama administration DID approve and set tolerable conditions for a huge wind farm even though wind energy requires 100 percent redundancy, is inefficient, is hideously ugly, and kills both beneficial wildlife — birds and bats — and beneficial insects on a horrific scale.
‘My heart going boom boom boom’
Yesterday I was feeling well enough to spend the day catching up on chores — doing dishes, laundry, cleaning litterboxes. I had the TV on for company and the commercials for Katherine Heigl’s new movie, “Life As We Know It,” had the most piercingly beautiful popular song that I just had to take a break and go online to find its name. I thought surely it would be in the soundtrack, but it isn’t — it’s just on the TV commercial. It turned out to be “Solsbury Hill,” written and sung by Peter Gabriel. He wrote it after having a spiritual experience on the real Solsbury Hill near his home in England. It describes his reasons for leaving Genesis, the rock band he founded, for a solo career. It came out in 1977 and was his first solo hit.
I’m embedding a clip of Gabriel singing in a live performance in 2003 because Gabriel and his fellow performers and the audience are all so joyful. This is a song that makes the heart soar. By the way, most of it is in the 7/4 time signature — it’s easier to count as 1-2-3/1-2-3-4, and in the song the emphases usually fall on the first and fourth beats. For me it creates a feeling of wanting to spin and swoop — my heart going boom boom boom.
Climbing up on Solsbury Hill I could see the city light Wind was blowing, time stood still Eagle flew out of the night He was something to observe Came in close, I heard a voice Standing stretching every nerve I had to listen had no choice I did not believe the information Just had to trust imagination My heart going boom boom, boom “Son,” he said, “Grab your things, I’ve come to take you home.” To keeping silence I resigned My friends would think I was a nut Turning water into wine Open doors would soon be shut So I went from day to day Tho’ my life was in a rut ‘Till I thought of what I’d say Which connection I should cut I was feeling part of the scenery I walked right out of the machinery My heart going boom boom boom “Hey,” he said, “grab your things, I’ve come to take you home.” Yeah back home When illusion spin her net I’m never where I want to be And liberty she pirouette When I think that I am free Watched by empty silhouettes Who close their eyes, but still can see No one taught them etiquette I will show another me Today I don’t need a replacement I’ll tell them what the smile on my face meant My heart going boom boom boom “Hey,” I said, “You can keep my things, they’ve come to take me home.”
Today is my birthday
Today is my birthday — I turned 57. (Eek!) Yesterday my brother and his son (Awesome Nephew) met my father and me at one of Harford county’s oldest Methodist churches. Our brother and mother are buried there. We had my favorite kind of service — no sermon, just people talking about their memories of the church, and we got to choose several hymns to sing, accompanied by the pump organ, since there’s no electrical service there. Afterwards my brother treated us to dinner at Box Hill Pizzeria, our favorite restaurant, where they make crabcakes the way God intended. There was a coupon for a chiropractor on the placemat, so I called first thing this morning and got an appointment. I’ll get the results of the X-rays tomorrow.
The back injury is changing my plans for the month, probably for the better — I will have to focus on my writing project. There were a lot of barges I was planning to tote and bales I was going to lift — our garage is filled with boxes Maggie left because she didn’t have room for all her things in Kentucky and was always welcome back here. Sorting through that will have to wait. But right now is the best time to pull out my tomato plants and move the containers back to their winter home in the back yard. So I will see if some of the neighboring teens will be interested in doing that job in exchange for filthy lucre.
I was going to catch up on my writing today but …
… I blanked on everything I know about good body mechanics while lifting when I was clearing some weeds around the front porch. I kept pulling on one of the sneaky type of weeds that looks all weak and wraps itself around everything above ground but in the soil is a network of thick, woody roots. I felt and heard a pop in my lumbar spine and immediately decided to spend the next several minutes supine on the walkway, moaning. My plan is to spend a day or two in bed, taking ibuprofen. Best online service to order essay from real professional writers! Check them out! Link
Please donate to send me to Maggie’s funeral Friday and Homocon the next day
Please donate to help me fly to Kentucky for Maggie’s funeral on Friday, then to New York on Saturday to see Ann Coulter speak at Homocon, then home to Maryland on Sunday. (I bought my Homocon ticket in August — it’s a coincidence that the two dates are not only in sequence but also when I am able to travel. The reason I can go to the funeral on short notice is that I already had care lined up for my father for Homocon.) I also have to pay someone to look after my father 24/7 while I am away. My nephew is the most devoted, reliable and cheapest person I can find for the job. He’s working his way through college and cannot afford to work for free because “good karma” turns out not to be a form of legal tender that the bank accepts to make his student loan payments. I’d have to pay someone from an agency two or three times what I’m paying him. The total I need to raise is at least $2,100 $2,000 $1980 $1960. I bless and appreciate every donation, including the gifts of prayers and good thoughts — may your donations return to you multiplied at least ten-fold by the prospering power of the universe.
Also, yes, I really am working on developing my career and other streams of income. It’s a longer trip than most people have because I am coming back from death’s door myself while caring for a series of dying loved ones over the last 12 years.
Thank you!
Updated, Wed., 9/22/2010, 7: 33 am EDT:
If you are wrestling with end-of-life care decisions, or you are a planner and want an inside view to assist you in creating your durable healthcare power-of-attorney so you can let your loved ones know how to handle your end-of-life care if you can’t, here is the timeline of my posts about Maggie’s end-of-life care:
Mon., 8/29: Prayer request for Maggie Byrd Explanation of who Maggie Byrd is, including a photo of her caring for my late life partner, Margaret, when Margaret was dying in 2004.
Thurs., 9/2: Just a closer walk with Thee Update on Maggie and YouTube video of Patsy Cline singing, “Just a Closer Walk with Thee.”
Fri., 9/3: Maggie Byrd update,’O Happy Day’ I give four rules for getting through the darkest situations victoriously, plus a YouTube video of a gospel choir singing, “O Happy Day.”
Sun., 9/5: Maggie Byrd, cancer and the decision between hospice and acute care You are told that doctors will explain all your end-of-life care decisions, but because a lot of people can’t understand the information, are in denial about a loved one dying — or dying themselves — and everyone can get very angry, this actually is a time of medical abandonment.
Wed., 9/8: Maggie update 9-8-10 My brother flew out to spend a day with Maggie over the Labor Day weekend while she was hospitalized for internal bleeding due to lesions in her esophagus and stomach.
Sun., 9/12: Maggie is back at the Markey Cancer Center YouTube video of Patsy Cline singing, “Life’s Railway to Heaven”; after getting stabilized and discharged from the hospital, Maggie and her sister and brother didn’t even make it out of Lexington before someone at the hospital noticed a test showing her platelets were dangerously low and called her back for more care.
Tues., 9/14: I just spoke with Maggie Symptoms of dying, how to talk to the dying when they are having hallucinations, more on the decision between acute care and hospice care.
Tues., 9/14: ‘Love is watching someone die’: I explain what you are doing when you attend a dying loved one. I also link a video and post by a palliative care doctor, who connects the music of an indie rock song to the experience of dying. It is comforting and uplifting.
Tues., 9/14: Waking up is hard to do I link a parody of the song, “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do,” about how hard it is to come out of anesthesia.
Tues., 9/14: Breathe: the nurse anesthetist’s prayer I link a parody of the song, “Dream, Dream, Dream,” by the same group that sings, “Waking Up Is Hard to Do.” Both are beautifully done, on point, poignant and funny.
Thurs., 9/16: Maggie passed the point of no return yesterday: I explain the symptoms that told me Maggie’s soul had turned from fighting to live to a determination to get going to heaven. This is NOT anything like a request for assisted suicide. I also explain how to help dying loved ones cope with the hallucinations common at the very end of life.
Sun., 9/19: Final vigil for Maggie: I explain Maggie’s decisions about a feeding tube, CPR and intubation to a breathing machine.
Sun., 9/19: Maggie has gone home: This includes a YouTube video of Dolly Parton singing, “In My Tennessee Mountain Home.” Maggie was the daughter of a coal miner and an illiterate mother, the oldest of 10 children.
Maggie has gone home
My father, brother, nephew and I were able to call Maggie and tell her good-bye today while she was still aware and understood us. I told her I love her, I forgave her for anything for which she needed forgiveness and asked for her to forgive me for anything for which I needed forgiveness. I told her we were grateful for her in our lives and grateful that she was a part of our family, and that she had lived a life she could be proud of.
Around 6:45 pm this evening Maggie slipped into a coma. I don’t know when she began Cheyne-Stokes breathing — it is the struggle to breathe alternating with quieter breathing and silences that is frightening and painful to witness in a loved one. A few minutes ago, around 11:30 pm, Maggie’s brother told her it was all right, she could let go … and she did. Surrounded by her family, Maggie has gone home.
Final vigil for Maggie
Maggie’s sister called me around 6:30 am to tell me that she and Maggie’s brother had been called and told that Maggie does not have much longer to live. They had gone to their respective homes for the weekend on Friday afternoon to get chores done, based on assurances from the doctors that Maggie seemed stable and they would call immediately if that changed. They had made the two-hour drive back to Lexington to be with her before calling me. This is my death vigil post for Maggie. Please pray for Maggie to feel loved, forgiving and forgiven, divinely protected, divinely guided and to be blessed in every way for her highest good now and always.
Maggie got a CT scan on Thursday to see why she was having hallucinations and check on her heart and lungs. The CT ruled out physical causes for the hallucinations and the doctors did not say they are a symptom of dying in addition to being a side effect of chemo — if hallucinations like Maggie’s even ARE ever a side effect of chemo. However, the lung scan showed Maggie had pneumonia, so she was started on IV antibiotics. She also got a Dobhoff feeding tube, which is a type of naso-gastric tube. That is, it goes through the nose and esophagus to the stomach. (Other types of feeding tube require a brief surgical procedure to create a hole through the abdomen into the stomach.)
Maggie weighs 98 pounds now — which reminds me that I should have mentioned a week ago that she had developed considerable edema from being on IV fluids, which were prescribed for reasons including the fact that she had no desire to drink or eat and therefore was not doing either. When your body is shutting down as part of the dying process, it can’t process food or drink and therefore you are not hungry or thirsty. In that situation, if you are forced to eat or drink anyway, you will vomit. Also in that situation, when you vomit you are likely to choke and aspirate your vomit, simply because you are weak, have poor coordination on account of being weak and because you are lying down. Aspirating liquids or solids into your lungs leads to aspiration pneumonia. This is why your advanced directive allows you to refuse food and fluids at the end of life and why those wishes are followed in hospice care.
Anyhoo, thanks to the edema from not being able to process the IV fluids, Maggie weighed 122 pounds last weekend. The edema was squeezing her heart and lungs — did I not mention edema does that and it’s uncomfortable and frightening? — so Maggie was started on lasix, a diuretic. She lost 24 pounds in three or four days. That’s three gallons of fluid — a gallon of water weighs 8.3454 pounds.
Maggie also received a very frank lecture mid-week from a doctor regarding her final wishes about CPR and ventilation (intubation and connection to a breathing machine called a ventilator). The doctor explained that when CPR is performed properly, it breaks ribs, even in healthy people with strong bones. Maggie is frail and her rib cage would be crushed by CPR. CPR and defibrillation — which someone who’s had it told me feels like a mule kick in the chest — under ideal conditions fail completely most of the time and when they succeed frequently leaves the patient brain-damaged or in a vegetative state. The doctor also told Maggie that in her condition, if she needs ventilation, it will not give her a bridge back to life. Maggie decided against CPR and ventilation.
Maggie’s sister told me that Maggie had a visit mid-week from a group of doctors that left her and her nurse astonished and asking, “What just happened?” That’s because after days of hallucinating, as soon as Maggie saw the doctors in their white coats, she became oriented and lucid and was able to converse with them. As soon as they were out of the door, Maggie was back to her hallucinations and lethargy. So the doctors saw Maggie in a completely different state than anyone else attending her.
On Friday, before Maggie’s sister and brother left, Maggie got a session with a physical therapist to see about getting her strong enough to walk. Maggie is very emaciated and has no muscle tone. (The emaciation of her buttocks led to a pressure sore there.) However, after tearing out her IVs and chemo port on Wednesday — because she was determined to get up and go — I think it was an occupational therapist who came up with a solution for Maggie’s restlessness and gesturing at tasks visible only to her: a large apron with lots of buttons, zippers and different textures. Maggie found it very satisfying. (I guessing an OT came up with this because hands are their domain.)
Last night dear Mark Koenig asked me how I know that some people’s end of life experience can be angry and frightening. The answer is that that is how my mother passed, although I was able to lift a great deal of her anger, fear and pain while surrounding her with friends and family members who loved her and got to say so when she could appreciate it. So in the end her passing was peaceful. Margaret’s passing was peaceful all the way through, probably due to both of our personalities.
At the very end, I tell my dying loved ones that they are having the experience of dying, so they know what is happening. I tell them that their guardian angels and angels of love and healing are with them and will take them to heaven when it is their time, so that they feel there’s a proper procedure for their passing that is being followed so they can feel safe about it.
I told Maggie’s sister to tell Maggie that she is dying, and that we love her, the kitties love her and her guardian angels and the Angel of Love and Jesus are with her and will take her to heaven when she is ready to go. Maggie’s sister said she would tell her.
Maggie, I send you my love and gratitude for all the good things you have done for me, Margaret and my family. I forgive everything that needs to be forgiven and I pray you forgive me for everything that needs to be forgiven. You have had a life to be proud of. Your guardian angels, the Angel of Love and Jesus are with you to take you to heaven when you are ready to go. You are safe and loved. May God bless your soul in every way forever and ever. Amen.
Apple’s iPhone is a great tool for the blind
I just came across this from a link in one of the scrolling tweets on Twitter’s front page — the end of the post is especially uplifting:
Last Wednesday, my life changed forever. I got an iPhone. I consider it the greatest thing to happen to the blind for a very long time, possibly ever. It offers unparalleled access to properly made applications, and changed my life in twenty-four hours. The iPhone only has one thing holding it back: iTunes. Nevertheless, I have fallen in love.
Note to Apple:
- iTunes is the devil.
- The iPhone 4 is VERY close to inspiring my gizmo lust, but I am holding out for one that works with Verizon and when you hold it in your hand. Also the money to buy it and pay for the service. Those are my terms.
Lady Gaga addresses the Senate via YouTube on ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’
One of the most amazing, joyful, electric experiences I’ve ever had in my life was to be in the front of the crowd at last year’s gay and lesbian March for Equality when Lady Gaga came to the microphone to speak. She was the only speaker to address Obama directly and call on him to get laws ensuring gay equality passed. She inspires joy and unleashes creativity in her fans. She makes the effort to BE good and to do right. Lady Gaga has called on her fans to be sexually abstinent. She recently appeared in an outfit made of meat. Really, conservatives, what’s not to love about this accomplished and intelligent young woman that we can’t make allowances for considering how comprehensively the Leftist media control our schools and how every single controversial issue is framed?
Allahpundit correctly cautions Hot Air readers not to be dismissive of Lady Gaga:
… I agree with her on “don’t ask, don’t tell” and think her approach here is kind of sweet. No stunts, no histrionics, just making the case. If you’re a celebrity and you want into the political arena, this is the way to do it: Keep it low key. (Gaga herself hasn’t always heeded that advice.)
(snip)
Update: Commenters are already asking, “Who cares?” Well, like it or not, when it comes to social media, Gaga is the biggest phenomenon on the planet. She beat Obama to 10 million “fans” on Facebook and became the most followed person in the world on Twitter just a few weeks ago. A lot of young voters will watch this spot. It’s not as insignificant as you think.
Lady Gaga also was the first person to get more than a BILLION views on YouTube. This makes the fact that she is using YouTube to make her appeal to her fans to call the Senate to support the repeal of “don’t ask, don’t tell” even more significant — and powerful.
Lady Gaga is approaching her fame and sudden wealth with more sanity, sobriety and responsibility than any other celebrity I can think of. These all bode well, especially since she is just 24. She deserves to be treated with respect because, unlike so many, she will hear out other points of view. Why, that alone ought to tell us she’s really a conservative at heart!
Plus, seriously, how utterly delicious is it that Lady Gaga is NOT on Obama’s fake timetable for the when-hell-freezes-over repeal of “don’t ask, don’t tell”? LOVE. LADY. GAGA!