By Adam Cuneo and published at The Onion, it starts as follows, and just keeps getting better:
Mom, Dad, there’s something we have to talk about. I’ve been wanting to tell you this for some time, and I want you to know that while I’m fully aware this might be difficult for you to hear, remember, I am still your son, and I love you very much: Mom, Dad, I’m gay, and so help me God, I am stronger than the both of you, and I won’t hesitate to beat you back to the Stone Age if you give me any shit about this.
I completely endorse this approach to coming out, by the way, or for that matter, to being lesbian or gay. And the kettlebells he mentions — I’ve been working out, and will definitely have to look into them.
I’ve never had the “coming out” experience. Unless you count me bringing home my first gf at thirteen. It never occurred to me to make a huge announcement, and no one batted an eyelid. We held hands, went to church dances and once got our braces stuck together. (Yes, that can actually happen.) My mother and eldest sister are still friends with her.
So a lot of this went over my head. I can’t imagine having to fight that hard for something so basic.