New troll policy courtesy of The Bloggess

I am instituting a new troll policy, which is inspired by my dear friend Jennifer Lawson, The Bloggess:

… sadly, there are always assholes in the world. In fact, some of them have computers and use them to troll the Internet and viciously attack people they’ve never even met. When I first started blogging, I was a bit shocked that perfect strangers would go to the trouble to leave comments like “your retarded” (sic) but I quickly learned that those people are the same assholes from high school, and that it’s amazingly easy to change a comment saying, “You suck and you’re a shitty writer and everyone hates you” to “You are the best writer in the world and I’m naming all of my children after you.” Then the troll would return to see what damage he’d done to my self-esteem and would be livid to see that I’d changed his comment and would write, “I NEVER WROTE THAT. I WROTE THAT YOU SUCK. YOU AREN’T FUNNY” which I would quickly change to “Your writing is magical and I would love to watch you sleep but I’m afraid to get too near you because my herpes are really contagious.” Then I continue to do this until the troll spontaneously combusts from sheer frustration. It seems harsh but if someone is going to try to bully me I at least want to be entertained by it.