… prove you are not sexually attracted to men by agreeing to the simple test Charlotte used on Trey in “Sex and the City“: a few postage stamps from a roll of stamps stuck together in a circle around your flaccid penis to reveal states of tumescence (because of the perforations between stamps, they will tear easily in the event of an erection) in reaction to photos of naked people doing it. Once the stamps are in place, I can arrange for you to view very explicit gay pornography — I’ll have some variety because I don’t know your tastes — and then very explicit straight pornography. I expect we’ll have our answer with the first test.
I am inspired to issue this challenge after reading part one of what is slated to be a three-part essay debate between David Swindle, editor of NewsReal Blog, and anti-gay self-promoter Ryan Sorba, on the question in my headline, “Is Ryan Sorba a closeted gay man?” Wait, no, on the question, “Should gays be accepted in the conservative movement?”
When I view the conservative movement I see it as being comprised of four ideological groups gathered in a tent so large that two of the groups have mutually exclusive goals:
- Fiscal conservative, social liberal
- Fiscal conservative, social conservative (when OUT of power, fiscal promises dominate; when IN power, social vendettas dominate and the majority of fiscal promises are scheduled for the indefinite future, aka, in your dreams)
- Libertarians
- Social conservative, fiscal liberal — for some reason, this group is usually shy about announcing its full identity and prefers to style itself as “compassionate” rather than liberal.
I have a sneaking suspicion it is the dominance of groups 2 and 4 in the conservative movement that is responsible for government growing even when conservatives are in power.
Oh, and by the way, why aren’t we having a debate about whether group 4 should be accepted in the conservative movement, on account of their being anti-liberty and pro big government — in other words, not conservative?
Where was I? The bottom line is that Ryan Sorba is looking to promote himself in time for CPAC next month in order to advance his career by witch-hunting gays. I am 57 and came out 39 years ago in 1972. I have seen Sorba’s type before. I feel no obligation to pretend to think anyone as obsessed as Sorba is with denouncing gays and anal sex is straight. So — Sorba, it’s time to rise to the challenge and put your man parts where your mouth is.
P.S.
If you are unaware of what sparked this debate, the Family Research Council recently announced it is withdrawing from participating in CPAC next month because the gay conservative group GOProud is co-sponsoring the event again this year. Ed Morrissey explains the whole story at Hot Air.
P.P.S.
Greg Gutfield makes some excellent points at Big Hollywood — the big laughs are there, but the following sets them up:
Ryan believes that, homosexuality is a “sometime behavior,” and he quotes a gay he agrees with, cut and pasting: “…human sexuality is fluid and flexible…The concept of gay and lesbian identity may be nothing but a social construct.”
So I guess he believes the same: that sexuality is “flexible,” and we choose our orientation.
Which makes me wonder, when did he first choose to be straight?
And did he choose to be straight, only because it’s acceptable by conservatives?
Ruffslitch,
Straight people are so accustomed to displaying their sexuality 24/7 that they really have no concept the disparate impact on gays and straights of the statement that “what happens in the bedroom is private.” Straights parade their sexuality and what they do in the bedroom when they flirt at a party, talk about a date at work, announce an engagement or wedding, put their childrens’ photos on their desks at work, wear wedding rings, and so on. Each and every one of these activities announces what straights do in the bedroom. In contrast, a completely closeted gay person cannot talk about dating or their life partner, or give any clue that would lead people to suspect their sexual orientation. Straight people call that privacy — it’s not. It’s inequality and second-class citizenship.
Cynthia
Robert Dirmeyer,
My darling! It’s you! I send love and hugs!
Dear gentle readers, Robert edited the “Lambda Rising Book Report” in the late 1980’s and censored one of the pieces I wrote to eliminate some totally true facts I included about sadism just because they were true and would make most people not think well of sadism and the sadistic author I was reviewing. Imagine! As a result, I have a hearty laugh whenever publisher Deacon Maccubbin denounces censorship!
Oh, my dear, my dear, my dear! It is so wonderful to hear from you!
Love,
Cynthia
Dear Conservative Lesbian Yoda,
I did the censoring on that article; Deacon had nothing to do with it.
Seems like you’re doing swell. I am, too; I think.
Please! Drop a line.
My best,
Robert Dirmeyer — lektrikpaper@hotmail.com
(If you post this — for whatever reason — drop the email address. Thanks.)
Cynthia, I just came across your blog and added you to my RSS feeds. Keep up the good work!
How do you differentiate #1 from #3? (I think I “chose” to be straight when I said to a classmate of mine that I wanted to see my 4th grade teacher naked — she was a very attractive, young, British exchange teacher. Heh heh.)
Excellent post, Cynthia. There was a study done at the University of GA in the early 90’s which pretty much conclusively showed that those men expressing the strongest, sometimes even violent anti-gay sentiments were to a man aroused by gay porn. The study was well-designed and widely reported on at the time. Unfortunately the professor of psychology who designed it and wanted to do a follow-up examining whether or not these men were actually aware of their same-sex arousal was quashed by trustees of the university, who decreed that no such further study would be permitted. I agree with you that generally, those (especially men) who are as exercised as Sorba about homosexuality and/or gay relationships being sinful or somehow destructive to society at large is usually unable to deal with their own feelings of attraction to people of the same sex.