My first follower was Cuban Diva BFF because if you can’t get your BFF to follow you on Twitter, maybe you need to, you know, talk. Also, she was home and let me walk her through the process. I tell her that I am grateful for her in my life every single day that we talk, which is almost every single day.
My second follower was — drum roll — THE BLOGGESS!!! — who is the most awesome and funny writer ON. THE. PLANET. — because I asked her nicely. She kindly remembered my recent homage to her — soon to be available as a dramatic reading by me on YouTube, pretty much so she can watch it whenever she needs a morale boost, but I’m OK with you watching it, too, as long as you write comments that are really nice to her and e-mail it to everyone you know and random people you don’t — where was I?
Anyhoo, not long ago The Bloggess posted a screen shot of a tweet that included a startling message from Twitter, and I began to feel I might be missing something. Until then my attitude about the social networking Web sites is that they take the elementary school playground to an exponentially higher level of shunning and inclusion. (“WHAT! I friended you on Facebook and you didn’t friend me back? Now you are dead to me!”)
But the prospect of following smartasseries by The Bloggess warmed me considerably toward the Twitter gestalt. So when an e-mail came announcing a free webinar by HubSpot, I signed up, and it turned out to be quite the revelation. (Here’s a sample post from their blog.) Then, yesterday, just one day later, when I was sore annoyed that my little parody news story about Obama was not flooded with readers — although I’m grateful for everyone who came! — I joined the Twitterati to try to draw it to the attention of a wider audience. If you understand Twitter, stop laughing. It turns out to do that you have to HAVE a wider audience of followers on Twitter ALREADY.
SO — gentle readers! If you would like to follow me, I am @conservativelez, or http://twitter.com/conservativelez. I’m pretty sure that if you follow me, in the Twitter sense, I will follow you in reciprocation. But please cut me some slack while I’m figuring it out — thanks.
P.S.: One of the first persons I followed on Twitter is Robert Stacy McCain, of The Other McCain, with whom I trade shellackings, except when we take turns shellacking Ross Douthat. It appears Stacy has tweeted his followers that they should look into following me, and I thank him.
P.P.S.
Showtime recently showed a remastered “Liza with a ‘Z’,” which I saw in 1972 when it aired, then bought the album and wore it out. The song is apropos of “lez” with a “z” instead of “s” in @conservativelez:
Thanks, Alex! I’ll take “Liza Minelli Show Tunes” for $500!
Having majored in drama, I got no problem going Old School with the whole campy gay stereotypes stuff. If the “slippery slope” argument has any merit, all you have to do is hang on a couple more years until polygamy’s legalized, and you can be my second wife. Assuming that my wife doesn’t kill me first, in which case . . . well, you’ll both be widows.
Anyway, since I suppose you’re about to go all Rule 4 on me over my reaction to the Iowa ruling, just wanted to pre-emptively make clear that I love you (in a wholesome platonic Christian way) and to emphasize that just because I sometimes write serious things, doesn’t mean I’ve lost my sense of humor. After all, who am I to judge? As is widely known, I’m a lesbian trapped in a man’s body.