I have been working for equality for homosexuals on and off for about 36 years now, a perspective that reaches back to the very beginning of the modern movement for homosexual equality, which began in June of 1969 with the riots started at the Stonewall Inn bar in Greenwich Village by drag queens who refused to follow the traditional kabuki ritual of a police raid.

However, my friend, Mark Koenig, who is a gay blogger at Newsreal, is new to advocating for homosexual equality and he has made the rookie mistake of framing the issue as one of an invalid animosity that good people must renounce. Not surprisingly, this has drawn a firestorm down upon him. However, he is an extremely intelligent and gracious man — which means he seeks and values my perspective — and we have had a chat. I have every confidence that he will frame his arguments in the future on the basis of conservative values of liberty, upholding the Constitution and small government.

I made the following comment on Mark’s post at Newsreal, “Banning Same-Sex Marriage = Rationalizing Bigotry“:

Mark,

We lesbians and gays are seeking equality. Our goals are noble ones: to marry, to adopt children and to serve our country in the military. We are not seeking tolerance or approval, so let’s not call anyone a bigot.

However, the debate over equality for homosexuals DOES expose a number of ways that various religions have succeeded in appropriating the power of the state to enforce the tenets of their religion on everyone and to force taxpayers to fatten their religion’s wallet.

When it comes to the laws that social conservatives advocate for homosexuals and women, the fundamental intent does not seem to be morality but rather achieving maximum control of human reproduction to force people to have the largest possible number of children in order to generate wealth and power for their religion — in effect, when they have reached the limit of their powers of persuasion, to resort to appropriating the power of the state to take away the individual’s most fundamental liberty, the control of one’s person and reproductivity, and to deny equality to homosexuals for being insufficiently useful in directly producing children to serve the purposes of other people.

In addition, the quest for equality for homosexuals exposes the vast resourcefulness of various religions in getting the government to fund their proselytizing enterprises, including adoption agencies. Regarding the latter, it strikes me that these enterprises ought to be able to make their own way in the world and requiring them to do so is consistent with the conservative principles of smaller government and lower taxes so you can use your money to promote the charities you choose rather than the ones the government chooses.

Cynthia Yockey, A Conservative Lesbian and Newsreal Feminist Hawk

I was a bit surprised that the first commenter on Mark’s post included a tirade against anal sex. First of all, it’s none of his business when it’s between consenting adults in the privacy of their home. Second, while the value of the experience is obvious for the pitcher, most people don’t seem to know what’s in it for the catcher, so let me clear that up: prostate stimulation. This is why there are sex toys for internal prostate stimulation, which men enjoy because they are men — sexual orientation has nothing to do with it. Third, to be quite direct, the pitcher doesn’t get his penis all poopy because the catcher takes care of the hygiene measures required for, ahem, internal cleanliness. Plus, for safer sex, the pitcher uses a condom.

Update, 3/16/2010, Tues.:

While we’re in the neighborhood of “to each his own,” bear in mind that many gay men are thoroughly grossed out by the idea of a man having sex with a woman during her period and getting his penis all bloody.

Lesbians, however, really don’t have problems with either port of entry, mess-wise, because our penises generally are silicone and can be put aside for cleaning at any point in the festivities, so to speak.

What? TMI?

Update, 3/16/2010, Tues.:

Oh, for heaven’s sake! I can’t leave anyone out — it would be WRONG. So — straight women have penises, too, just like the ones lesbians have — to wit, the RELIABLE kind, crafted in a variety of shapes, a rainbow of colors and a wide range of hygienic materials, which they can direct south to use solo or as a supplement or a back-up plan with a male partner. Because the correct answer to, “But I didn’t finish yet!” is NOT, “Sucks to be you.” HOWEVER, for a male partner who craves prostate stimulation, straight women also can strap on these instruments of pleasure and point them north, as detailed in the handy book and the instructional video featured below. (Note: these are affiliate links — if you buy these products after clicking this link, Amazon pays me a small commission that does not cost you any extra money. Your purchase is private and I have no way of knowing who bought any product.)

You’re welcome.

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It might seem counter-intuitive that I’m choosing today to announce to gay and lesbian Democrats that Republicans now have THE party of tolerance, equality and diversity. I am taking quite the shellacking over a piece of mine at Pajamas Media entitled, “My Blissful Gay Marriage.” Around noon or so, Eastern Time, it was dropping down the story column. Then I checked back around 4 pm and it had so many comments, along with the anti-gay-marriage piece it was paired with, that both were promoted above the fold again. (!)

I read the first 30 or so comments, which were mostly negative, and posted a comment linking my post here that has photos from the full span of my relationship with my late life partner. Then I decided to let the commenters work things out amongst themselves until tomorrow. But also, it was more nastiness and cruelty than I could stand after being up most of the night fixing some technical snafus here that had to be corrected before this story was published since they involved the photos of Margaret and me. (However, I am amused that comment-wise, I’m winning by about two-to-one, although that seems to be because more people want to, um, set me straight, as it were, than want to congratulate the other guy for his timeless wit and wisdom)

So, anyway, you’d think I’d be all in my foxhole, or depressed, or angry.

Actually, I feel elated and blissful.

What has me so elated is the Big Picture. While there are very vocal and hurtful people on the Right who insist that homosexuals should be second-class citizens and they propagate assorted libels and/or feel entitled to have the state enforce the tenets of their religion, I know that there ALSO are big shots on the Right — the biggest is Dick Cheney, but there are more — who do support equality for homosexuals, including marriage equality. The Big Picture is that we are having this discussion on the Right AND that pro-equality conservative and Republican homosexuals, including me, are included in the discussion.

On the Left, from the Democrats and liberals, I would get a whole lot of, “We support you, but not in any practical way, because our black and Latin constituencies hate you and want you dead and will leave us if we do anything in support of your equality. Maybe some day, some far off, ever-receding day — but right now, shut up, give us all your money and here’s our list of work you can do to advance the interests of people who are indifferent or hateful toward you. Because we have you trapped. Where else are you going to go? TO THE REPUBLICANS? BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!”

Well, my dear angry lesbian and gay Democrats, you have my personal invitation to come on over to the Republican Party and fiscal conservatism. We homosexuals are so accustomed to having to create our own jobs and make our own way, we are the natural constituents of fiscal conservatism, anyway. And, as I pointed out in another post, Republicans understand marriage. We only have one thing to persuade them of — that our equality should be recognized by law. With Democrats, we have to sell them on marriage, first, and our equality second — but by then they’ve forgotten all about why marriage is so important, so it’s an exercise in futility. Read more here.

Another thing — conservatives and Republicans respect individualism — which, it so happens, we homosexuals have in abundance. The Republican party is your true home! Obama and the Democrats are just using and abusing you. Ditch them! Ditch them now! And come toward the light!

The phrase “conservative lesbian” isn’t exactly an oxymoron, but it does describe a very rare bird. Even at CPAC, when a libertarian radio host whose name I can’t remember wanted to prove to me that I was really a libertarian instead of a conservative and walked me over to the libertarian booth personally so I could take their test, was visibly astonished when my test showed I was smack dab in the center of their conservative bull’s eye along with only one other person. In fact, the guy who marked my test said as he put my dot in the bull’s eye, “You’re a rare bird.”

Tell me about it.

When I was starting this blog in January and I checked the number of searches in a month for the word “lesbian” versus “conservative lesbian,” I found that for a term that is searched over 22 million times a month, I had targeted a niche searched 140 times a month. (Gloom.) I tell you, gentle readers, it’s a gift. After a lifetime as a liberal Democrat, pining and praying for a return to the happy days of a Democrat president with a majority Democrat Congress, didn’t I convert to being a fiscally conservative Republican just when all of that was within my grasp?

Whatever, as a new blogger I am still discovering ways to promote “A Conservative Lesbian” and today I found Wikio and immediately broke it:

Since Wikio helpfully suggested I myself could publish a story on this subject — well, now I have.

You’re welcome.

P.S.

Oh, for heaven’s sake, now my new Wikio vote button shows up on my other posts, but not this one. Well, the sun just came out after three days of rain, so I am going to work in my heirloom tomato garden because I can fix this after dark.

Update, 6/7/2009:

Mixed success — “A Conservative Lesbian” is now on Wikio, but Wikio is not entirely on “A Conservative Lesbian,” since the Wikio vote button still is not loading consistently.

"A Conservative Lesbian" appears on Wikio.

Update, 6/7/2009: Welcome, Legal Insurrection readers, and thank you, Prof. William A. Jacobson, for selecting this as your post of the day. Since the Wikio vote button now is working on this post, anyway, I hope y’all will vote for this post, and I thank you in advance, if you do.