One of the first things I knew I had to do in June 2010 when I started the diet and exercise program that has trimmed over 65 pounds from my figure was to stop watching Paula Deen’s cooking shows. But I have to love and admire her. She brings people together and makes them feel at home. And as dear Fausta reminds us, you didn’t get fat because of Paula Deen.
Ms. Deen’s story of bootstrapping her warm and bubbly personality and cooking talents into a multi-million dollar empire is an example of what an individual can accomplish in a free market economy and a business niche not strangled by onerous regulations and start-up costs. I was saddened to learn that she was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes three years ago. I think the fact that she didn’t admit her diagnosis until she became a paid endorser for a diabetes medication just shows what an excellent head she has for business. I expect now she’ll make even more money with cookbooks tailored to the needs of diabetics — and good for her!
However, I didn’t learn that the “The Lady’s Brunch Burger,” is one of Ms. Deen’s signature dishes until this story broke. It’s a hamburger topped by a fried egg and two strips of bacon, sandwiched between two Krispy Kreme donuts (or a split hamburger bun or English muffin). I learned this thanks to hard drinkin’ and druggin’ chef Anthony Bourdain, who stands by his own vices, but objects to Ms. Deen’s gleeful use of butter, fatty foods and sugar. That’s where he draws the line.
I have news for Anthony Bourdain. I read the recipe for Paula Deen’s Krispy Kreme hamburger and in my opinion, it needs to be more Southern and does not go nearly far enough.
Let’s call my variations “A Conservative Lesbian’s Brunch Burger” — after all, I was born in Knoxville and I’m Southern on my mother’s side:
Ingredients for one serving:
Two Krispy Kreme donuts or rolled biscuits (because you can easily split them in half)
Patty-type breakfast sausage — slice off enough to make two patties that will be the size of your donut or biscuit after frying shrinks them.
Six strips of bacon
- In separate skillets, fry the bacon and sausage to taste. (I like patty sausage extra crispy.) When cooked, set aside on a warm plate covered with a paper towel to absorb fat (not that it matters that much with this recipe).
- In the skillet you used to fry the bacon, fry the egg in the bacon fat, sunny-side up, to your preferred firmness of the yolk.
- To assemble the Krispy Kreme version of your brunch burger, take one whole Krispy Kreme donut and put three strips of bacon on it. Add a sausage patty. Put the fried egg on top of the sausage patty, then put the second sausage patty on top of the fried egg. Put the remaining three strips of bacon on top of the second sausage patty. Top it all with the second Krispy Kreme donut.
Instead of the Krispy Kreme donuts as a bun, substitute a rolled biscuit that you tear in half, or two rolled biscuits (recipe here, but Ms. Deen leaves out the step of folding the dough once after you roll it out — folding the dough allows you to easily tear the biscuits in half after they’re baked).
I recommend slathering the biscuit halves with soft butter and then adding honey. You can let the butter and honey soak into the biscuits in a low oven for a few minutes while you cook the sausage, bacon and egg, so the honey won’t drip all over you when you eat your brunch burger.
Melt a slice of Velveeta cheese on each Krispy Kreme donut or biscuit. What is more Southern than Velveeta cheese?