… prove you are not sexually attracted to men by agreeing to the simple test Charlotte used on Trey in “Sex and the City“: a few postage stamps from a roll of stamps stuck together in a circle around your flaccid penis to reveal states of tumescence (because of the perforations between stamps, they will tear easily in the event of an erection) in reaction to photos of naked people doing it. Once the stamps are in place, I can arrange for you to view very explicit gay pornography — I’ll have some variety because I don’t know your tastes — and then very explicit straight pornography. I expect we’ll have our answer with the first test.
I am inspired to issue this challenge after reading part one of what is slated to be a three-part essay debate between David Swindle, editor of NewsReal Blog, and anti-gay self-promoter Ryan Sorba, on the question in my headline, “Is Ryan Sorba a closeted gay man?” Wait, no, on the question, “Should gays be accepted in the conservative movement?”
When I view the conservative movement I see it as being comprised of four ideological groups gathered in a tent so large that two of the groups have mutually exclusive goals:
- Fiscal conservative, social liberal
- Fiscal conservative, social conservative (when OUT of power, fiscal promises dominate; when IN power, social vendettas dominate and the majority of fiscal promises are scheduled for the indefinite future, aka, in your dreams)
- Social conservative, fiscal liberal — for some reason, this group is usually shy about announcing its full identity and prefers to style itself as “compassionate” rather than liberal.
I have a sneaking suspicion it is the dominance of groups 2 and 4 in the conservative movement that is responsible for government growing even when conservatives are in power.
Oh, and by the way, why aren’t we having a debate about whether group 4 should be accepted in the conservative movement, on account of their being anti-liberty and pro big government — in other words, not conservative?
Where was I? The bottom line is that Ryan Sorba is looking to promote himself in time for CPAC next month in order to advance his career by witch-hunting gays. I am 57 and came out 39 years ago in 1972. I have seen Sorba’s type before. I feel no obligation to pretend to think anyone as obsessed as Sorba is with denouncing gays and anal sex is straight. So — Sorba, it’s time to rise to the challenge and put your man parts where your mouth is.
If you are unaware of what sparked this debate, the Family Research Council recently announced it is withdrawing from participating in CPAC next month because the gay conservative group GOProud is co-sponsoring the event again this year. Ed Morrissey explains the whole story at Hot Air.
Greg Gutfield makes some excellent points at Big Hollywood — the big laughs are there, but the following sets them up:
Ryan believes that, homosexuality is a “sometime behavior,” and he quotes a gay he agrees with, cut and pasting: “…human sexuality is fluid and flexible…The concept of gay and lesbian identity may be nothing but a social construct.”
So I guess he believes the same: that sexuality is “flexible,” and we choose our orientation.
Which makes me wonder, when did he first choose to be straight?
And did he choose to be straight, only because it’s acceptable by conservatives?