Thank you, my sistah!

Cynthia

Holler on. : )

Margaret and I lived in the heart of an area that was overrun by illegal immigrants. They came from countries where women are property and gays are killed. Obama is about to open our borders and the people who will be rushing in also share those attitudes. Our culture is about to change dramatically and the changes are going to be bad for women and bad for homosexuals.

So gradual acceptance is just not going to work. We really are going to have to resort to the courts. And, frankly, there will always be resentment. I don’t care — I just need the equality. I just wrote to Amy that I am going to have to write a book to state my case. But one thing I realized this week is that the movement fighting homosexual equality always does so in religious terms and/or defines marriage as something that should be available only to couples who are directly capable of producing children from their sexual union. Well, it is religious discrimination to force people into second class citizenship because they don’t follow the commandments of someone else’s religion, or produce children to the satisfaction of other people. I think I’m the first person to argue for homosexual equality from this angle. It’s also a liberty issue — the rationale that homosexuals should be denied equality due to the failure of same-sex couples to produce children for other people’s purposes should shock the conscience of true conservatives.

We have to go for that we want, not what we think we can get because that always the wisest way to pursue a goal AND because our arguments in favor of full equality ARE our arguments for same-sex marriage equality, the right to adopt, the ability to serve openly in the military and protection from discrimination in public accommodations (restaurants, theatres, stores, parks, etc.), housing and employment.

Cynthia

I appreciate your relating your experience. And I apologize that you are concerned I would holler at you. But you know what? Looking back over the last 38 years since I came out — shortly after the dawn of the gay rights movement — the way we’ve made progress is by refusing to settle and saying “now is the time.”

You provide another angle on same-sex marriage that I never thought about, which is that straight people who have decided to stop looking for an opposite sex spouse and build a life with a same-sex friend would benefit from same-sex marriage. Marriage under civil law — as opposed to religious law — really seems to be defined as as structure that provides rights and responsibilities for two persons who have committed to one another for life, forsaking all others.

I realized today that I am going to have to write out the case I’m making for homosexual equality as a book.

I do appreciate your comments — thank you.

Cynthia

So I talked to my agent and turns out there is (at least from our provider) a domestic partner rider, but you have to send a letter to add it. Which I did, but then my agent said the language of the letter had to be more specific: “same-sex and opposite-sex domestic partnership”. So I adjusted the language, and voila, now they’re covered.

My long winded point is, I had no idea you could even add that. Which I guess is to say…there’s more acceptance than we know? I know it’s not enough (don’t holler at me now, Miss Cynthia) but it’s out there.

My bestie and I always say if our menfolk die off we can’t see any reason why we can’t be each other’s partners in our old age. Set up a house, share finances and just generally take care of each other while our rotten kids are off living their own lives.

Cynthia, how would you respond to the argument that going for broke is all very well, but we’re never going to get 100% of what we want and need right now, but that something would be better than nothing? I agree that marriage is something sacred that would both enrich LGBTs lives, and be strengthened by our involvement, but there are people who need some protection now. (I hate this line of arguing, but I’m never sure how to counter it.)

Also, how would you suggest getting full equality? Gay marriage would probably lose on a nationwide ballot, and a court decision would cause resentment and could be overturned the moment the opponents get their people in there.

The GAO came up with the information about the 1,138 rights for a report to Congress on the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). Also, when “don’t ask, don’t tell” is repealed and gays and lesbians can serve openly in the military, remember the military are sent on far-flung missions and must move frequently within the U.S. and abroad. They have to be able to marry their same-sex spouse because only married couples qualify for the housing they would need and for the spouse’s property to be eligible for moving allowances. Right now DOMA, as a federal law, prohibits the recognition of all same-sex marriages by the federal government. Since it’s the federal government moving these service members and their spouses and families around, DOMA would prevent same-sex couples who are legally married from qualifying for these benefits. We need to repeal DOMA.

Cynthia

Thank you — traditional values ARE what gays are embracing when it comes to marriage equality.

I know very well that marriage laws are state-by-state. However, the General Accountability Office says that there are 1,138 federal rights and responsibilities associated with marriage and denied to homosexuals married under state law alone. I think it’s just crazy that a same-sex couple can married married in one state and not in another. We need federal equality and the states can then amend their marriage laws solely to permit the choice of a same-sex spouse without any changes in the rights and responsibilities of married couples.

In addition, Obama and the Democrats are about to open our borders to a tidal wave of immigrants from countries where people feel morally entitled to kill homosexuals and who believe that women are property. We really do not have a lot of time to get our equality before they are here and voting against us in such large numbers that we will never be equal (and women will become property again).

Cynthia