Once upon a time, when I read newspapers, specifically, the Washington Post, I loved Dave Barry’s column, especially his annual review of the past year. My favorite joke from one of these is from 1997. Early in the piece Barry writes that foreign car manufacturers have agreed to level the playing field against American carmakers by giving all their future models really ugly names. Then, toward the end, he has Motor Trend magazine naming as its “Car of the Year, the Nissan Rat Vomit.”
Barry’s column reviewing 2009 is one of his best ever, and surprisingly, leans conservative. Here’s a sample, in keeping with the theme of the competitiveness of American car manufacturers:
General Motors, which has sold only one car in the past year — a Buick LaCrosse mistakenly purchased by an 87-year-old man who thought he was buying a power scooter — announces a new four-part business plan, consisting of (1) dealership closings; (2) factory shutdowns; (3) worker layoffs; and (4) traveling backward through time to 1955.