Carrie Prejean, the fired Miss California USA who became famous for stating her opposition to marriage equality for homosexuals, dropped her lawsuit against the California state pageant officials on Nov. 3 after they showed her an X-rated home movie in which TMZ.com reports she performed solo.
“I just wanted to make an audition tape but none of the really hot guys I know wanted to do it with me,” explained Prejean, “for the tape, I mean. It made me really angry because they all said they were gay. I am smokin’ hot and there’s just no way they were telling the truth about not being turned on by me. Now I’m so glad I got even with those jerks, thanks to Perez.
“Anyway, I finally got a girlfriend to operate the video camera for me,” Prejean continued, “and she put it next to a mirror so I could see myself. I just kept looking at my reflection and getting more and more turned on. And then she started telling me where to touch myself and she described all the sexy stuff she wanted to do to me. I was so hot and wet by the time she asked me whether I liked two fingers or three that I just went to town.
“Then I realized I was missing this great opportunity for my acting career,” Prejean added, “to practice girl-on-girl love scenes. It turned out she was as good as any acting coach, so we just kept trying everything we could think of, all night and half the next day. I must have blown off two pageant appearances at least, but I had to think long term for my career so honing my craft was more important. Thank God, we are both straight, so it is OK. Plus, my book is coming out on Monday, and this should sell a ton of books.”
Update, 11/5/2009: Thank you to dear Little Miss Attila for the link. I assure my gentle readers that dear Attila is hot, hot, hot! And, yes, when I found out from TMZ.com that there really IS a Carrie Prejean sex tape, it was one of those, “There IS a God!” moments!
I wonder why she [Prejean] didn’t tell the Values Voters Summit audience about that [sex tape]? Does she think that was a part of God’s plan for her, too? Who knows? Even more importantly, who cares? Carrie Prejean is an orange, fake boob having, empty headed woman. Conservatives should have supported her, but never lifted her up to be the poster child for Christian values. If a girl wants to be sluttastic, that’s her business…except when she holds herself up as a believing practicing Christian.
I don’t know much about her, but other than getting a free boob job, taking topless pictures, starring in a porno, and saying she was raised to believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman, she hasn’t done much else with her life. She has a book coming out about…who knows? More about God’s plan, perhaps? I’m sure she’ll be using Christian conservatives to sell it and they will be who she sells it to. Bleh.
I think the following report published in the New York Daily News is credible, so I expect more schadenfreude for me and more tears for Prejean’s dupes, uh, supporters down the road:
Controversy keeps following Miss California USA Carrie Prejean: Now a woman claims to have had a lesbian relationship with the “opposite marriage” crusader’s mother.
Valerie Vetrano of Corona, Calif., told Star magazine she and Prejean’s mother, Francine Coppola, “dated,” and the relationship ended shortly before Carrie Prejean was in the Miss USA competition.
“I did date her,” Vetrano, who is openly gay, told ABCNews.com. “I’m not going to deny it, but I’m not going to say anything else.” Both Coppola and Prejean declined to comment on the ABC story.
Prejean’s parents, whose messy divorce proceedings began in 1996 and lasted nearly a decade, accused each other of having homosexual relationships, according to a series of court documents made public on TMZ.com.