No one laughs at God in a hospital

by CynthiaYockey on October 14, 2009

Dad’s OK, I’m OK, Cuban Diva BFF’s OK, all the cats are OK.

But I spent the day working on a post that required me to re-live aspects of caring for Margaret while she was dying. Dear Jennie, The Bloggess, linked this song, “Laughing With,” by Regina Spektor in a tweet awhile back and it is so true and so piercingly beautiful. Today just seems like the right day to share it.

I haven’t forgotten that I promised to write about former ACORN leader Marcel Reid and how just a few minutes of conversation with her changed my view of the Left forever — I’ll get to it soon. I also want to tell the story of Margaret and Martina Navratilova at the 1993 March on Washington. And if my photos from the National Equality March are good, I’ll share some of those.

If you listen to this song, I’d like to recommend a couple of things to keep in mind. First, what you put your attention on grows stronger — so look to the good (and if you can’t see it, keep affirming it will appear until it does). And second, try this suggestion from an inspirational e-mail that I received from a dear friend today: “Stop telling God how big your storm is. Tell the storm how big your God is!”

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  • I R A Darth Aggie

    I’m suddenly reminded of the Viking helmsman in the movie The 13th Warrior laughing in the face of a mighty storm at sea.

  • Stinky

    Thank you. I so desperately needed to read this post.

  • Amy

    Don’t know the back story on this post, but Cynthia, the more I read you, the more I love you. Nicked the storm quote for my FB.

    • Amy,

      Thank you! I intend for this blog to be a place of love, laughter and enlightenment!

      The memory the song calls up for me is from April 1995 when Margaret was hospitalized and hovering near death and had lost the use of her left arm completely. I had to keep it together in the hospital, but on the way home in the car I cried from the bottom of my heart and begged God for her to live and get the use of her arm back with every fiber of my being. I stayed by her side day and night for more than two weeks until it occurred to the doctor that if she wasn’t getting better with IV antibiotics, he ought to look for an abscess. Once they drained almost a cup of pus from around her right kidney, she started to get better immediately, although it took weeks more to resolve the staghorn stone in her right kidney and a blockage in her ureter. All of these events cascaded from her developing an allergy to latex, and the silicone coating on her latex suprapubic catheter wasn’t enough to protect her. After she was discharged, the company that supplied her catheter equipment said they had to contact 15 companies before they found a source for all-silicone catheters.

      I thought Ms. Spektor’s list of scary situations where people don’t laugh at God was comprehensive enough to touch almost everyone. Funnily enough, recently I heard that fear shuts off your brain’s ability to solve problems — I think putting your attention on an omnipotent, omnipresent and all-loving source of help dissolves the fear, or at least reduces the fear’s ability to shut down your access to your ability to solve your problems.

      Cynthia

  • Amy

    Oh, Cynthia. I went back and read about you and Margaret. She was a beautiful girl. The first picture gave me the goose bumples…she looks so strong and self assured. Seems like she liked being her. And the last pictures…I could still see “her”. How blessed you two were to have found each other…I’m so sorry she’s gone but am happy that you had the time together.

    Oy, which sounds so sappy…can’t help it, I am kind of sappy on Friday nights.

    The song is amazing…what got me in particular is the opening scene, where she steps up to whatever they call that thing at the eye doctor’s. Both them kids have bad eyes, and I remember when Em had her first eye exam and they told us she had the bad eyes…we (her father and I) both cried like it was the end of the world. My greater long-winded point is that, yea, the song does touch on many human experiences, and to get even more long winded, the song just made me thankful.

    I gotta go hug them kids, even though they are sleeping and will be all pissed that I woke them up to hug them

    P.S. – glad to hear all them cats are okay : )

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