Washington, D.C., Sept. 29 — ACORN CEO Bertha Lewis, the sole black person in the organization’s leadership, announced today that ACORN has signed a deal with film director Roman Polanski to create a new kind of daycare center at ACORN offices across the U.S.
“Thanks to those two crazy kids and their hidden video camera, we’re having to get very creative about generating revenue streams now,” Lewis said. “We’ve got a $100 million a year nut to crack. Obama, Pelosi, Reid — none of them will take my calls anymore. Congress has cut us off. We’ve been dropped by the Census and even the IRS. And now Bank of America has announced it will stop paying the protection money we charge in exchange for not harassing their bank managers at their homes. They’ve even threatened not to approve any more mortgages for our unqualified applicants. Other banks are sure to follow. And no one wants fraudulent voter registrations and tampered ballots in an off-election year.
“It doesn’t matter how many shell corporations you have for laundering money if you don’t have rivers of cash in the first place,” Lewis continued. “So when Roman Polanski came to us with his concept for day care centers with on-site pharmacies and liquor stores, we knew it was a winner from the get-go. He’s the man with the experience needed to get something like this off the ground. Our skillsets are a great match.
“Gathering prey for predators and making the prey think we’re doing them a favor have always been key parts of our core mission,” Lewis said. “Well, that and keeping the vulnerable populations we serve in a perpetual state of dependency, hopelessness and resentment. When you consider that since ACORN was founded in 1970 that we have worked night and day to bring down capitalism from a thousand different directions, is it so wrong not to want to share in the spoils just as victory is in our grasp?”
Credit: Decades ago I read an interview of Melissa Gilbert some time after the demise of “Little House on the Prairie.” She was experimenting with being a stand-up comic and one of her jokes was about being cared for as a child at “the Roman Polanski Daycare Center,” which I thought was hilarious. I have borrowed it for this post. Thanks, Ms. Gilbert. But I agree with The Feminist Texican that it is wrong for you to make excuses for Mr. Polanski now. I also agree with Little Miss Attila that Mr. Polanski should do his time.
The moral bankruptcy of the Polanski apologists, many of whom are women, and many of whom believe themselves to be feminists, is disgusting. Where is NOW? Oh, probably worrying about third trimester abortion rights, instead of islamic misogyny and, now, making a convicted child rapist serve his time.
Because, no matter what arguments people make, Polanski testified that he knew the victim was 13. She testified that he told him no, repeatedly. So, feminists, does “no” really mean “yes?”
Stinky,
Go over to Newsreal blog and Frontpage Magazine and Phyllis Chesler at Pajamas Media — or come here — to read real feminists.
Jamie Glazov in his new book United in Hate does an excellent job of explaining how and why the feminist movement has sold women out — I highly recommend it and will be writing about it in more depth soon.
For the record, I believe most women in the U.S. still believe the feminist movement is what it said it was in the 1970’s — so “no” is “no,” but wealthy and well-connected people can still get away with pretty much anything.
Cynthia
The fact that you could even imagine this kind of satire speaks volumes about why Polanski has evaded jail time for so long. Creeps like him need to be absolutely certain that the hammer is going to drop on them when they’re caught.
But our society keeps sending out mixed signals that say otherwise. So P. thinks he can get a pardon.
.-= Lynne´s last blog ..Confusion in the Valley of the Dolls =-.
Lynne,
I’m not certain what you mean about connecting my satire with Polanski’s ability to evade justice for so long — I don’t see the link. Wealthy, well-connected people have always been able to delay or escape the consequences of their evil deeds. I was very clear that I think Polanski should serve his sentence — since he had already been convicted when he took flight. Plus, ACORN’s corruption and indifference to sex slavery for children was at least as much my target and has only recently been exposed in a way the Left is very hard put to deny (although their powers of denial are definitely up to the job).
Cynthia
I AM coming over here, Cynthia! 🙂
This reminds me of Tammy Bruces’s experiences during the OJ trial. She thought it was a great opportunity to highlight spouse abuse, but she was shut down by NOW because they didn’t want to tread on the NAACP’s toes. I think she writes about it in her first book.
Well, what I meant to point out is that years of “soft” propaganda- films like Pretty Baby, for instance, and high-fashion magazines featuring pubescent models- have aided people like Polanski by creating an ambiguous, enabling atmosphere. The subtle message constantly sent is that there is something ‘natural’ or at least unsurprising about older men having sex with young teens. It’s a fig leaf for Polanski to hide behind- the *important* thing is that he’s a great director; we should just ignore bourgeois ideas about the age of sexual consent.
This is the attitude currently being peddled by European officials; combine it with a two -tiered justice system and it’s no wonder Polanski thinks he deserves a pardon.
It’s all about the *art*, doncha know.
Even Hannah Giles was urged to call herself a ‘performance artist’ by ACORN workers.
.-= Lynne´s last blog ..Confusion in the Valley of the Dolls =-.
Cynthiqa, this was moderately brilliant…
.-= richard mcenroe´s last blog ..Pedophila… It’s the New Gay! =-.
OMFGROTFLMAO and if there were any more letters I could add to extend that exclamatory acronym I would! Cynthia, I think I am in love. This so well done. Too too funny. First time I have been to your blog, but you have a new fan. Bravo!
LOL! Hee hee hee- I’m monitoring your site for your reaction to the Letterman slave harem revelation, Cynthia!
Me own post on the subject:
http://rositatheprolesnastylittlebloggingproblem.wordpress.com/2009/10/02/no-wonder-letterman-hates-sarah-palin/
Atlas Shrugs has an awesome take.
.-= Rosita the Prole´s last blog ..This is not a recession, this is a contraction and an altering. =-.
Rosita the Prole,
Yes, I’m very tempted to write about Letterman, but I have quite a lot of chores to do this weekend so blogging is probably going to be light. But if something funny or pithy comes to me ….
Cynthia