Dear, dear, dear.
I was scrolling around The Other McCain today to copy some photos of me since his camera was working on Wednesday at the Andrew Breitbart party on Capitol Hill and mine was not, and what should I spy! A Jello-wrestling match is on between Monique Stuart, aka Moe, aka HotMES (pick a lane, sweetie!) and Clever S. Logan, aka Suzanne Logan. It is slated as, “The Fight for Big Sexy,” aka Jason Mattera, and appears to be a grudge match between the two buxom, budding bloggers.
I see that the affair of honor will be settled with strawberry Jello and whipped cream at a location to be determined in Washington, D.C., on a date not yet set. I also note that affairs of honor require a referee to uphold standards and yet none has been named.
My motives are above reproach, you see, since, as a lesbian, I have no interest whatsoever in the affections of Big Sexy, as you can see below from our photo together at the 3/18 gathering on Capitol Hill of the Washington Conservative New Media Alliance, sponsored by Americans for Limited Government and Net Right Nation:
And, at 55, I’m pretty sure that I’m old enough to be the mother of both contestants, who look exceedingly hot young. After all, I’m on record preferring an older woman. So I will be an utterly disinterested observer sure to be unmoved by the young ladies in their wet, sticky wrestling attire as they slide around in the Jello. How could they find anyone more impartial?
Plus, since I have been dubbed a generator Sapphic traffic in the right-wing blogosphere, according to Prof. William A. Jacobson, the Blogospheric Neologian at Legal Insurrection — I’m not stupid enough to call myself the queen of Sapphic traffic because Tammie Bruce precedes me and has guns — so I will be bringing offerings of Sapphic traffic as homage to the almighty SiteMeter.
Update: And now Stacy McCain is calling me the Sapphic Samaritan. What can I say? I’m a giver.
Update, 3/21/09: Ooh! ooh! ooh! Little Miss Attila has the background story here. The fun never stops!
She writes, “Just give me enough notice on that wrestling match to find a cheap red-eye to the East Coast, folks!” She gives her PayPal donation button, too, so — help make her dream come true!